It might seem that there was much I want to say. To catch you up. There are many things in my heart I have written and deleted, or not yet found the courage to write. So I will share only this:
Let's suppose that, from the very beginning, a child's personality, potential, talents, strengths and weaknesses are already set. Every detail already written on their DNA. That "how they will turn out" is decided before they take their first breath. Alcoholism, depression, sexuality, narcissism, addiction, anxiety, obesity, violence. Imprinted on their being as clearly, and inescapably, as the color of their eyes.
Would we adopt a child knowing that no amount of "nurture" can change the course set in place by "nature" from the moment of conception?
I can only speak for myself, friends. But I say "yes".
I would choose you. If I knew that your path was destined to be troubling and destructive, I would take your hand and walk beside you. Maybe that is all I have to offer you. Even if my efforts cannot change the destination, you will not have traveled there alone.